We Spent One Night Together as a Family


Photo Credit: Holly Siddall


On August 10, 2020, World Lion Day, our little baby Leo was born sleeping.


I know many might not understand my sharing of such a personal thing, but to me Leo was perfect, and I want the world to know he existed.


He weighed 8 pounds, 3 ounces and was 50cm long. He was a healthy little baby. Maybe he loved to dance as much as his mama, but unfortunately he got himself in a bit of a tangle, and the cord wrapped around his neck three times.


We will never truly know or understand what happened. Our baby should have been left to sleep peacefully after passing, but unfortunately he suffered further trauma during labour and delivery—his little face and nose came first and didn’t turn during the hours of contractions.


Finally he was born via c-section, and delivered by the kindest midwife who stayed hours beyond her nightshift to see him come in to this world.


Leo was different and special.


Lockdown will always be the most special time of my life. Leo changed my life forever and it will never be the same again. My body has gone from full mummy-mode to totally empty, and I suppose sharing him with the world lets me know it was real. I really did feel the weight of my beautiful baby boy on my chest as I hugged and kissed him.


We spent one peaceful night as a family together and I held the hands of both my boys for the very first and last time. The best night of my life. Waking up to his even colder and harder body was incredibly difficult, but to me Leo is perfect and I will love him for a thousand years.


RIP, angel. I miss you.


Thank you @hollysiddallltd for sharing your story. Shared with permission.



Pregnancy and infant loss can leave grieving parents feeling isolated and unsure how to navigate the heartbreaking circumstance of living without their precious baby. Unexpecting delicately helps grieving parents navigate the complexities and heartache of life after loss.



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