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There Was No Heartbeat, Just Silence

Updated: Apr 4, 2021

Photo courtesy of Kylie Brule

At 39 weeks, I went into labour and something wasn’t quite right—the contractions were different. They started out fast and quick and constant. I thought maybe my 4th baby was just coming more quickly than the others.

When we arrived in the hospital to meet our midwife and I heard the silence of the Doppler, I knew. There was no sound. Just silence. There was no heartbeat. Our baby had passed away.

My mind and body went into complete shock. I was scared to continue with the labour. My previous birth with my 3rd son had been emotionally traumatic for me and I had been working with my husband, my amazing midwife team, and a psychologist to help me heal, and to have a positive birth experience after a traumatic one.

Photo courtesy of Kylie Brule

We, as a team, came together in a circle of strength to birth our baby boy peacefully with love. We named him Albertine River Brûlé. He is perfect, our second biggest boy at birth in length and weight! His skin is so soft and he always looks like he has just had a big feed and is in milk drunk contentment. This is the way we will remember Albertine forever. And, as for my birth trauma. I have healed. Albertine has given me this gift. My anxiety and PTSD around birth has lifted. Thank you, Albertine.

Thank you Kylie Brule / @kylieandthemachine for sharing your story. Shared with permission.

We know that losing a child is the most heartbreaking thing a parent can experience. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is a beautiful resource to help grieving parents through their darkest days.

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