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My Baby Girl Only Knew Love

Updated: Apr 4, 2021

Photo Credit: Shannon Jacobs

I found out I was pregnant with our fourth baby in October of 2019.

Everything seemed to be progressing normally until we had our twenty-week ultrasound. It was then that we found out the baby was measuring nine days small.

She also had a cyst on her brain. I was encouraged by my doctor to do genetic testing. I got the call a few days later informing me that the testing had been positive for trisomy 18. I had no idea what that was.

I was told it was fatal. I remember falling down and crying. How could I be five months pregnant and expecting to lose my baby?

So much fear and anxiety set in. I went to every doctor appointment and saw a high risk doctor multiple times each week. All of this was happening during the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

I didn’t want to believe it was real and convinced myself my baby was healthy and that the test was wrong.

At thirty-four weeks I finally did an amniocentesis and it was positive. My whole world was crumbling around me. My baby beat so many odds and made it to full term. I was ready to do anything for her, to fight with her, but the birthing process was too much on her little heart and she passed away sometime between when they checked for her heartbeat and when I started to push.

It was only a few minutes between the two.

God took my daughter at the perfect moment. I didn’t have to watch her die, she didn’t have to be hooked up to any machines. She only ever knew love. She was perfect. And she is missed every day.

Her birth day is June 28, 2020, and we named her Olivia Elizabeth.

Explaining this to my other three kids was probably the hardest part.

I have been lucky enough to help many grieving parents through our experience and I'm hoping to continue doing so.

Thank you Shannon Jacobs / @shannonjacobs26 for sharing your story. Shared with permission.

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