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I Feel My Baby Girl's Presence Everywhere

This is a very short version of my journey with Charlie-Joy, my second daughter and third love of my life.

Photo Credit: Rhiannon Hill

My pregnancy started out happy and carefree. My husband and I found out we were pregnant with our second daughter at five weeks along and we felt so blessed to give our first daughter a sibling.

At six weeks, I started bleeding and was diagnosed with placental abruption and hemorrhaging. I continually passed clots the size of my fist. I was put on indefinite bed rest. We were told that I was miscarrying and there wasn’t anything to do but wait, so we did.

I continued to bleed until I was hospitalized during weeks 15-18. We fought so hard to stay with each other. But I was dying and so was my precious girl.

Her heartbeat was not found the morning of August 21, 2020. I was induced and gave birth to her that following night. I never got pictures of her due to my fear of not being able to handle reliving the experience again. I regret it.

I’m happy to say I’m pregnant with her younger sibling right now with no complications. I feel CJ's presence everywhere, especially in my womb where her last home was.

Thank you Rhiannon Hill / @felurhian for sharing your story. Shared with permission.

Coping with the grief of pregnancy loss can feel impossible and isolating. Surviving the Unimaginable is a guide to surviving loss, told through the voices of loss parents with the help of a clinical psychologist.

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