My Son Is In the Arms of the Angels
Updated: Apr 4, 2021
Image provided by Kirsty Frape
In March 2020 I found out I was pregnant.
I told my partner over FaceTime as we were in lockdown, but we were both so excited. I used to say to my mum that my tummy ached for a baby. I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life.
I had my 12 week bloodwork done and the results came back that I had low Papp-A, which can be linked to Down syndrome. I had to go to Fetal Medicine for an amniocentesis. The results came back normal, but the low Papp-A meant the placenta wasn’t working as well as it should. I was put on aspirin and told I would be induced around 32 weeks if the placenta stopped working or if signs of preeclampsia developed.
Me and my partner went to our 20-week scan and had arranged a gender reveal party for the day after. I couldn’t sleep that night because I was excited to know what our little baby was.
That day my hopes were shattered. Our baby was measuring more like 16 weeks instead of 20 weeks. He has severe growth restriction and I was told he would not make it. The placenta was failing a lot sooner than expected.
A little boy, I thought. How can they be telling me I have a son but he won’t make it?
They advised me to terminate but I refused. I would carry him and love him until he was ready to go.
He made it to 26 weeks when I developed severe preeclampsia over night and my organs were shutting down.
My beautiful George was born naturally on September 15, 2020 at 4:30 a.m., weighing just 318g. As soon as I laid eyes on him I felt an overwhelming sense of love, but painful love knowing I would never take him home. I think of him every day and find comfort knowing he is in the arms of the angels and with God.
Thank you Kirsty Frape of kirstyfrapex for sharing your story. Shared with permission.
We know that losing a child is the most heartbreaking thing a parent can experience. Loved Baby is a beautiful resource to help grieving parents of faith through their darkest days.
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